So in the spirit of our new-found freedom, when the boys told me they were going on an adventure around the world and would not be home for weeks, I didn't bat an eye. I asked if they had sufficient provisions. My ten-year-old assured me he had packed enough food for them both, along with maps, weapons and water, and they were off. It was only about 40 degrees, but they didn't come home for an hour, and only then to let me know they were about to cross into China and would be back later.
Years later (another hour) they were home, frozen but happy. They had so many tales of fabulous travels in foreign realms, taking airplanes alone, fighting fierce dragons and being knighted by grateful queens that it took them two days to tell us all about it.
When my daughter took her bike to her babysitting job, I did not hand her the cell-phone and a million recommendations, I just said "see ya' later honey!"
I am definitely learning more than they are.
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ReplyDeleteHi Angela. I'm really enjoying your blog!
ReplyDeleteThe freedom thing...ahh, it can be really hard to do. I was reading that in Japan, 3 year olds walk daily, by themselves(!!!), to get a loaf of bread. And they do. And the parents trust them. I think we do a huge disservice to our children by not allowing them freedom.....freedom AND trust. My children are still rather young (2 and 4) but it applies at this age too. Not freaking out if my 4 year old climbs on something or allowing her to use a knife to cut fruit. Doesn't seem like such a big deal but really in our culture it is. It seems as though we sterilize our childrens lives and red-tape off huge sections of life leaving them only a small area to explore in. Rather disabling, imo.
Well, I could go on and on, lol.
Anyways- I came across your blog from the yahoo secular homeschooling group. I joined over a year ago but I have never made it to any of the play days. That is, however, my goal in the next month :-) My husband and I just joined the UU church and we have spoke briefly with you before. Sounds like we have a lot in common. I look forward to getting to know you and your family more!
-Nina
Hi Angela! Love your insight and honesty. I love how you admitted your smug feeling at the conference:) Have you ever read "The Gift of Fear" or "Protecting the Gift" (about children) by Gavin de Becker? I read it so long ago (before kids) but was very impressed at his expertise on crimes and real ways to protect our children. I remember him encouraging freedom, but at the same time stressed that as parents it's necessary to be diligent in protecting our young children and to prepare them to protect themselves by tuning into the instinct of fear that exists for a reason. In his study of crime, the victim almost always at some point decides to ignore the fear signal. In addition I had learned about that statistic you mentioned from him, and was also amazed at his distaste for the "don't talk to strangers" mantra this society feeds kids. I thought the concepts in this book might be a nice addition to your new found insights.
ReplyDeleteAngela, check out free-rangekids.com, Michael found it for me.
ReplyDeleteAmie