Study Hall

It is good, once in awhile, for a parent to get a sense of what their child is going through. I am pretty sure that adult acne was invented for this purpose.

We've been encouraging our older children to sit for the French baccalauréat, the high school exam that pretty much determines the rest of your life, amen, for a French high school student. How hard can it be? Every college student I'd ever met at university in France had passed it. There is a French lit section, so read some old books and get your written French up to snuff. Then there is the everything else section: math, science, history, geography, philosophy, find out where your "educational gaps" are, study a bit and you'll be fine. I know it is well beyond what the US demands of a high school graduate, but just because mothers induce labor on December 30 to have their babies qualify for school at 21/2, fathers might go into a rage if their child is made to repeat a year and French children never have to do chores, because their whole life is about passing "le bac", doesn't mean it is unattainable in any way.

The shoe is suddenly on the other foot. I love my work, especially in the medical field, and to go further, certification is the next step to take. It will test my knowledge, help me find areas that need improving and force me to work on those "gaps." It will be a paper attestation of my abilities and expertise as well. 

I picked up an anatomy and physiology textbook, a nice, easy to read and understand book; "Barron's E-Z Anatomy and Physiology," that I am using in conjunction with the "Gray's Anatomy Coloring Book." Both of these are also great resources for high school students of anatomy and physiology. I knew this would involve other topics as well; code of ethics, confidentiality, patient advocacy, medical terminology, etc. Today I was finally able to access the website for the certification process. What I found there did not surprise me, but it did strike terror into my heart. I need to know a lot. I think I know quite a bit, but I don't think I can breeze by on experience and obtained knowledge. I will need to...study, for hours, days, weeks and months. I will need to find time in my life to buckle down and hit the books. Whether or not I believe the information to be useful, necessary, correct even or, (heaven forgive my selfish spirit), interesting, I will need to learn it by heart in order to succeed at this particular exam. Well, nothing teaches quite so well as example, but let me empathize with my children and students everywhere for a moment; I'm feeling the heat too!

Lily Likes This One

Looking for the Perfect Christmas Tree

Found It!

Our Tree Home and Up

Advent Spiral

St.Nicholas Visits

Greetings of Warmth and Light

May this season be one of joy for you and yours. May many wonderful moments light up this darkest time of the year as you rush from chore to chore (and as little as you can from store to store). Many people love and hate this time of year. I can understand the dislike, as everything "normal" either goes on as usual plus the rush, or is put on hold to give into the rush, either way, it can be a disruption, instead of a time of quiet contemplation and inward journey. 

But I love Christmas, it has always held mystery and magic for me. Now that I am a mother, even more so, as I watch the excitement grow in my little ones as they peel back the days of the Advent calendar and dream of Santa and snow. I love the generosity of their hearts, as they grow older, and imagine all sorts of ways to make another person happy on Christmas.

Solstice and its rites have taken on significance for us as well. The rebirth of the sun and the promise of the coming spring become more precious with each year that I am alive to witness it. I may love winter, but my bones feel the cold of it now, and dream of warmth and sunshine too.

Of course, timing, as they say, is everything. I often remind my impulsive children of this as they come up with an impossible request that would demand great amounts of any of the following; money, time or parental permission. "Wait until I am sitting down before you ask me if you can buy an iguana." "Give your father a minute to unwind after work, eat his dinner and relax. Then hit him with the idea of building a tree house... in January." Here is how our house is looking 3 days from Christmas this year:

Pierre (that's Daddy) has been in bed for three days with a fever and chills; the flu. The puppy has become completely fascinated with wrapping paper, scissors, tape and whatever I am attempting to wrap up in a spare second. Number of gifts wrapped so far: 3, same as the number of days until Christmas. Alienor, broke her retainer which has required 4 orthodontist appointments in less than a week. Lily left her retainer where the dog could and did find it and chew it to a pulp. One more orthodontist run. While supervising the building of our gingerbread house and making a potato omelette last night, I completely forgot the bread dough in the machine that was to provide the base for gifts to bake this morning and found an explosion of dough all over upon waking today. That last one is what led me to ponder timing. I was working up to one of those teachable moments, as the kids had asked something about chemical reactions this week. Here was a great example of a chemical reaction, and a poorly timed one at that. We could learn a lot from this! However, on second thought, I think I'll just skip the whole comparison with a nuclear plant and a leak. It may have seemed easier, for me, to contemplate them being on equal levels at the time. After all, the plant employees would be getting paid for their clean-up work and not under the same time constraint as a major holiday brings, but it would be inappropriate to compare the two in the children's young and impressionable minds as equal. The adults know which one was worse.

So, the good news, since this is the yearly update, is that everyone, with the exception of Pierre, is in excellent health. If you regularly read this blog, you may want to skip the following, but here it is for the patient and for the rest of you.

Lily, 15, my homebody, the one who never wants to go anywhere, is somehow busy with theatre, kung-fu, piano and writing two blogs; http://literaturesrealm.blogspot.com/ and one for her mentor: http://www.fishscalegirl.com/.  She tried out her first archery lesson last night, and loved it. 

Aragorn, 13, was a great help, as usual, and got everyone to bed last night, with Alienor's help, while I was at the archery range with Lily. He still loves drawing and is doing an excellent job with his guitar playing. He played at church with his mentor, a couple of weeks ago. They did; "Teach Your Children Well," one of my favorites, and "We are Family." They were accompanied by the pianist, the choir and a drummer, a musical feast.

Alienor, 10, is in school to "try it out" this year, and loves orchestra, gym class and recess. Our house is filled with the lovely sounds of a first-year viola trying really hard for 30 minutes a day. Their holiday concert was amazing, truly. Alienor is the only one who does not love kung-fu, and this may be because she is dreaming of dance class. I dreamed of dance class too when I was little.  I wonder if Santa would bring me a chauffeur and extra set of wheels for Christmas.

Arthur, 7, is a star in his kung-fu class because he is the only one who can easily do as many finger-tip push-ups as his teacher. When he is asked to lead this part of the teen class, they all groan (silently, of course) because they know he will give them at least 20. The rest of the time? He plays, listens to Geronimo Stilton books on tape, and hangs out in the geology museum, asking questions about dinosaurs and rocks.

Puck, 4, likes to color and paint and make lego projects with his older brothers. He loves his morning cuddle with his puppy on the sofa at 6am, when they are both too tired to be up, but don't want to be alone. The bike path through the woods is his favorite place for a walk. He loves the library too, because he can watch the fish swim and check out books about anything.

Pierre has become a fabulous guitar player over the past year. He began two years ago, knowing nothing, just like Aragorn, and has practiced his fingers off. He's learned a lot of folk songs and oldies, and is learning "Patience" (Guns and Roses), just now. I love being serenaded as I knit. And I knit as much as I can. Any road trip is a great excuse for two things; knitting in the car and finding an undiscovered yarn shop. Pierre heads for the bike shops in the same situation, as the avid commuter biker has become a bike geek. 

The reason there was no Christmas letter last year is not that I did not write it, but rather that I never got around to sending it. I began working outside the home for the first time in 14 years last December. At first, it was overwhelming, as the job stemmed from a phone call for a French interpreter at the hospital the night before they needed someone. It was all new; time management, one-vehicle family organization and the demands of working again in a new job. I love it! I love the people I meet, both English and French-speakers. I enjoy the actual interpreting in both medical and legal fields, with the occasional different assignment thrown in. I get to go to surgeries, mental health appointments, orthopedics, court (all sorts), and my favorite; births! I have reduced my work to one day a week, which satisfies family needs and professional ones to a lesser degree, but my little ones need me for now and I am happy I can be home with them. Interpreting is what I trained to do and the career I had planned for, so it seems about perfect that I can do both now.

We send you our warmest greetings and wishes for a healthy, happy and peaceful New Year!

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. "James A. Baldwin

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." 
-James Baldwin


"If we had a key gun, it would shoot keyholes." 
-Puck, age 4

The only explanation I can find for my boys' fascination with guns is a mix of culture and genetics. They live in a gun-free, pacifist home, never owned a gun or anything resembling one until family brought them in, yet would (and still do) fight with anything resembling a stick, sword or firearm. They also (girls and boys) fight with each other ferociously at times, they brood and they disobey. (And just about every day, they say very funny things, like this quote yesterday from Puck who was carrying around an old-fashioned key to an antique hutch.)

Of course, part of this behavior could be deemed as normal passages in childhood. Children are not miniature adults, they are growing and developing through different phases of their lives. So how do we go about teaching them? How do we help guide them through these years into eventual adulthood?

We return once again to the point that it is not so much what we teach our children as how we are with them, the example we give them in our every day lives. Steiner said that adults must take care of their very gestures as they go about their daily tasks around children. If we are able to be mindful of our attitude, our words and our actions, this, friends, is what our children will carry with them in their hearts forever.

Green Heat

It starts and ends with the comforter, the down comforter. More on that below. I love my comforter so much that things got out of hand in writing this post and went on forever .

Other tips from a European lifestyle for keeping warm, the green way.

1) Wear a sweater. Seriously, turn the heat down and put on a sweater. I tried this. I was sick of seeing my kids running around the house in t-shirts when it was freezing cold out. I turned the heat down to 63 and waited. The sweaters came out. Magic.
* The nighttime version of a sweater is called a blanket sleeper. This is for the little ankle-biters who won't stay under the covers. It goes over regular pyjamas. A baby sleeping bag is another great option, up to about 3 years old. They zip up and can't be kicked off.
2) Morning routine; drink something warm, first, before you shower, before you take the dog out, and especially before you walk to school, go for a run. This will increase your inner temperature and you will use less hot water for less time in the shower/bath. Heating a kettle or sticking a mug of cocoa in the microwave uses a lot less energy than 20 minutes in the shower.
3) At bedtime; turn down the heat and warm up your bed with a rice bag or a hot water bottle. For the hot water bottle; well, fill it with hot water (I used to boil the water, but begin to fill with tap water so as not to melt the bottle.)
We converted to rice bags years ago, here is how they work: You pop it in the oven on lowish heat or in the microwave for a minute or two and place it where your toes go at the bottom of your bed. The kids will love it, it is a special winter-time treat at bedtime. Don't have any rice bags? Take a piece of fabric (flannel is nice), fold it in half, stitch it up and stuff it with rice. Or use a big man's sock; fill that with rice and tie a knot in the end. I like to sprinkle the rice first with lavender or lemonbalm essential oil, both are soothing and good for sleep.

Now for the comforter in lieu of all blankets, flat sheets, extra heat. There is one on every bed in our house and this is where the night starts out all cozy and...well, cold for a minute, until a warm body and a warm rice bag quickly create heat that lasts until morning. In fact our beds are so very comfortable and warm that some of us have a really hard time leaving them in the morning.

My childhood nighttime memories are of warmth and comfort...and weight. In fact, the best present my sister and I ever got for Christmas was matching yellow electric blankets one year. But it took a lot of getting used to, sleeping without the reassuring weight of about a hundred blankets on me. A down comforter takes your body heat and holds it in, even lasting through midnight potty breaks, and is so light you would think it was made of feathers...(sorry, that was dumb.)

The initial investment for a down comforter, (from about $100 for a twin size on sale to $350 for a high-quality queen or king) makes it a good Christmas gift from relatives who just want to please you, a lot. It may seem expensive for a blanket, but this is the only "blanket" you will ever need. Ours was a wedding gift from my in-laws 18 years ago, and it is still the best one in the house. I have had one complaint. My own parents don't use the comforter we gave them as a gift years ago because it is "too warm." To which I say; "turn down the heat and use the goose already." (That is not an inappropriate remark, it is a reference to the goose feathers.)

What to look for in a comforter:
1) Weight; the colder the climate, the heavier the weight. Mine is a heavy-duty and it was just fine in cold, damp southern France, even though it rarely got cold enough to snow.

2) Construction; quilting, sometimes called "baffle-box" that holds the feathers in place to a minimum. It does not need to be fancy, because one of the fun parts of owning a down comforter is the daily "fluffing"; whereby you announce that you are about to fluff the comforter and a bunch of kids in pjs jump underneath so they can be fluffed right along with it. I stand on the end of my bed to gain enough height, and whoosh all the feathers back to the top and throughout the comforter by shaking/lifting it. It is only not fun when one is nine months pregnant. Or when one has forgotten to fluff and is lying there about to fall asleep and your significant other decides it must be done right now or he/she will never be warm enough.

Stay warm and sleep well!

Creativity in Action

Alienor's 10th Birthday

Tie-dye Birthday

Few things are as easy, lighthearted and fun as a 10-year-old birthday party. They don't require many ideas from you, they have their own. They are not yet of an age where they want to go to the movies or battles with paint guns. They are past frequent potty breaks requiring assistance, needing constant surveillance and the desire to go to Chuck E. Whatever one more time. 

When Alienor asked me to invite friends over for her birthday, it was easy. Feeling a little more courageous and knowing my creative audience well, I suggested a tie-dye activity. When the younger brothers got involved, it ended up a little messier than I'd planned for, but so colorful and joyful.

I mixed up all the colors of the rainbow in squirt bottles, put on the table mat and we were ready to go. I used fiber-reactive dye and pre-soaked the items to dye in vinegar. Seven girls and two boys sat down to make pretty items, all as different from each other as autumn from spring. Some stayed at the table forever, taking their time and thinking things through, others soaked the entire thing (Arthur) and had to hang it out on the line to dry, most took them home in a plastic bag to set. One small thing I missed in my new experiment was that contrary to silk, cotton requires soda ash to set properly. A lot of the color would be washed out over the coming week, but the combinations were still beautiful.

I had provided extras; bags and bandanas to tie, thinking they could then choose. They did, and then proceeded to ask for seconds. The little munchkins dyed everything I had, nothing sad and white left in sight.

The rest of the time? Trampoline jumping, cake and ice cream, naturally.

"Education is a progressive discovery of our ignorance." Will Durant (1885-1981) U.S. author and historian

"Education is a progressive discovery of our ignorance."

Will Durant (1885-1981) U.S. author and historian

Dear Children,

My St.Nicholas' Day wish for you; may you discover a fraction of what you have taught me during the precious moments we have lived together. May that fraction show you how little you know, as it has me. May that lead you to search, question, believe and love:both others and learning about this marvelous world and beyond, all the days of your lives. If you live thus, your life will never be shallow, devoid of meaning or (pardon my French) boring.

 Keep the wonder alive, you created it for me, and I am grateful.

"Try not to have fun...this is supposed to be educational."

"Try not to have fun...this is supposed to be educational."  Charles Schulz, creator of The Peanuts.

What is it I expect of my children each day? How does my idea of what work looks like influence my expectations for the kids?

Math books, equations lined up neatly in a row on lined paper? French verbs nicely conjugated in a notebook? Essays on assigned topics? Some days, yes, this makes me feel better. It also gives the children either an education complex or a sense of accomplishment. I haven't yet decided which one. Ticking items off of a list does allow one to feel as though your day was not wasted, but are all items on that list truly equal, as the utilitarian would have us believe? Would the time and exertion be better spent on something else? 

When it comes right down to it, time is not the biggest factor. An hour or so a day of prescribed work leaves many many hours of daylight to pursue the rest of their lives.

No, the primary question is whether my attitude is affecting their picture of what learning means, whether it is stunting their desire to further explore whatever may interest them in more depth. If I say; "we're exploring US history this month," why do they suddenly become allergic to anything pertaining to the history of the country they live in?  At the same time, Lily and Aragorn are suddenly fascinated with WWI because of a book they are both engrossed in. (Well, WWI is part of American history.)

It comes down to perception. This is work. Work is not fun. In their kung-fu class they have to keep to a strict regime of exercise, respect for elders, lines and discipline. There is nothing like that at home, yet they love kung-fu. They chose to attend class, they chose to progress in it. It is fun, for them. It would be torture for me. It would be educational and "good" for all of us. Perception. This week's task: figure out how to make it work to my advantage.