I recently enrolled in a program you may have heard of called "Toastmasters," designed to make one a better public speaker. No, not to add one more thing to my plate, but rather to hone the skills needed to do the job I have and love better. I took last week's blog post and crafted my first official speech out of it. This was designed as a speech, so forgive the formatting. The assignment; a speech about something that you are passionate about (although, it might have said; "your interests or your hobbies," with research-backed bits to support your premises. Must site research. It is meant, not as a lecture, but as a personal reminder to just me, so to speak.
Intro: Too many things on one’s to do list creates chaos and
craziness, neither of which contribute to a happy holiday.
Strategies for making it joyous again.
1) Think like a Stoic; how could this situation go
wrong?
The ancient roman philosophers known as Stoics knew
that a life of fear, anger, envy and grief was a sad life. They observed the
workings of the human mind and came up with techniques to prevent negative
emotions and methods to rid oneself of them if they dared appear despite said techniques.
Think for just a moment: How could this situation possibly go wrong? What is the worst thing that could happen? (I can get carried away here too, so keep it to a thought or two.) Now aren’t
you glad it didn’t go all that wrong? How lucky are you today, to be right here, right now? Did
you car or your feet or your great-great auntie get you here today? It could
have broken down, been broken or been out of town. Is the heat working? The furnace
could have quit and we’d all be giving our speeches in parkas and mufflers.
How can this be applied to Kwanza, Yule, Hannukah or
Christmas? I can look around and think that the tree might fall down and kill
the pet birds or dog, or burn and take the house with it, there might not be
snow, we might all get the flu- again- this year, someone I love with all my
heart might not be there this Christmas. And then, I can be so very grateful
for who is there and what we do have. According to Stoicism, this is not borrowing trouble, this is a way to cultivate gratitude.
2) Simplify activities, choose wisely;
Choose according to what you need, not what your second
cousin needs, what your neighbor thinks you need, (“hey, son, gonna’ get those
lights up? It’s just about Thanksgiving already.”) but what you actually need
to thrive and be cheery and bright.
What
is it that you most treasure at this time of year? Is it the neatly lined up
tins of 37 different kinds of cookies, candy and treats to share with everyone?
Why does it have to be 37? Would one tin of cookies do? Would no cookies be a
novel way to be healthier this year?
Is
it writing to each of your friends in a card, which, may, incidentally, have
turned into an annual marathon of family photo-in-October/order-before-Black-Friday-to-get-the-discount-while-cooking the turkey and homemade pies slash be the first to get them in the
mail? Would writing a handful of meaningful notes later, for New Year’s wishes,
perhaps, be just as fulfilling? Or maybe delegate someone else to create an email message of holiday cheer with
photos or a poem?
Is
it spending an afternoon in the woods with your children choosing just the
right tree, chopping it down while your fingers freeze and getting full of pine
resin as you strap it to the car, and bringing it home to roost? Would an artificial
tree that can be kept year after year and simplify the holiday rush be a
satisfactory substitute? No, it would not. Never mind. Bad idea.
Is
it making homemade candles for the Solstice Spiral or the kinara?
Caroling
around the community?
Making
sure you have a hand-knit gift for everyone, for every single day of Hannukah?
Pick.
Pick one or two.
I
hereby propose that a thing done with joy and reverence is worth a dozen done
in haste.
According
to Seneca, echoing the modern-day philosophy of abundance; “We
are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied
but wasteful of it… Life is long if you know how to use it.” If you interpret
this to mean that using it implies being utilitarian about each and every
minute, you miss the point, and miss incorporating what makes life wonderful.
3)
It can be hard to let go, why is that?
Despite
the success of movements like Marie Kondo; “Hold the object in your hand. Does
it spark joy? If not, thank it, and let it go, preferably straight to the
recycling bin,” or the Voluntary Simplicity movement before that, we are not
hard-wired to let go. The basic human instinct to hoard what we have to guard
against hard times to come is over-powering.
The
need, however, to be constantly doing, and doing it better and doing more, is
entirely a phenomenon of our fast-paced, American society. We create our own
level of stress and eventually, break-down in health; mental and physical. OSHA
has declared stress a “hazard of the workplace”. According to Mayo Clinic, 75-90%
of all doctor’s office visits are for stress-related ailments. Stress plays a
role in causing headaches, high-blood pressure, anxiety, heart problems,
asthma, diabetes, arthritis, depression and eczema.
In
today’s world, our most prevalent attitude is one of hustling while the
hustling is good, doing more, getting ahead. No one knows what tomorrow may
bring. The realization that we have enough to be happy, right now, we do, is
often fleeting, followed by the inevitable what-ifs.
Luckily,
our earlier and more basic aptitude for finding joy in what is, here, in front
of us, is even deeper and older. We know, instinctively, what gives pleasure; a
good meal, a magnificent sunrise, a welcome hug, beautiful yarn on one’s
needles, and the warm glow of caring and being cared for.
The
courage to do less, to say no to time commitments without deep meaning for you
and make space to breathe, be and enjoy what is, comes only when one has the
conviction that this is the right thing to do.
Or
does it?
Maybe a trial run of taking on less, promising less, prioritizing what truly matters, and, for a week or so, for the season, for the year; doing less, (as suggested by Kate Northrup, author of "Do Less") can bring the rewards needed to make greater change, and bring greater peace on earth and in your own heart.
Maybe a trial run of taking on less, promising less, prioritizing what truly matters, and, for a week or so, for the season, for the year; doing less, (as suggested by Kate Northrup, author of "Do Less") can bring the rewards needed to make greater change, and bring greater peace on earth and in your own heart.
